When you feel sad, depressed, and anxious, it’s like the world is closing
in on you. It’s almost impossible to see the world as it is, even if
you know your mental state is clouding your judgment. You’ve probably
exhausted all of your self-talk, and are even a little tired of hearing yourself
go on in the same way over the same material. Sometimes you need a fresh perspective—a
way of seeing that extends out and beyond what you know isn’t working.
In the therapeutic setting, depression and anxiety are often seen as differing
sides on the same coin. Often people flip-flop between the two, and this takes
its toll on health and well-being. If you could do it differently, you would,
right?
The truth is, you can do it differently. But first you need the tools. And
no less important than learning how to change your language or thinking, and
how to implement some new strategies, are the connections and relationships
you establish in your life.
Ideally, working with a trained counselor establishes new mental pathways
in your brain’s neural circuitry. As you release tied up emotions and
deep inner struggles, you are powerfully witnessed by someone who is focused
on your healing and well-being. By being emotionally “held” in
this way, your neural networks begin to change. This enables you to change
your inner dialogue and establish better connections with others in your life.
Better connections improve our sense of well-being, bring us comfort, and
insulate us in difficult times.
Chronic depression and anxiety often result from errors in our early attachment history. Our caregivers, for whatever reason, were unable to give us the consistent “mirroring” we needed to establish our sense of self, and an ability to make healthy connections. The therapeutic relationship is reparative in that it re-establishes this mirroring relationship, and you are then able to locate yourself again. With a strong sense of yourself and who you are, you are better equipped to negotiate life’s perils. When you are in immediate crisis, the therapeutic encounter is there to help you get through a situation without establishing a pattern of ongoing trauma.